New to therapy? Here's what to expect.

Will I be lying on a couch, baring my soul to a stranger straight away?

If you've never sought out counselling or psychotherapy before, chances are you'll be feeling somewhat hesitant to 'go there'. For decades the concept of therapy has been shown in film and TV: The client lies on a leather Chesterfield sofa whilst a learned therapist sits in the matching armchair, wearing a suit and facilitating life-altering breakthroughs within the first five minutes of meeting their client. Don't possess that 'main character energy' yourself? Don't fret, therapy needn't look so intimidating. Here's a more real world view of what you can expect when starting therapy for the first time.

As a first timer, an important lesson to learn will be that the opportunity for discovery and growth often sits within your own discomfort.

Firstly, I've yet to meet a therapist who owns a deep leather sofa backdropped by a roaring fireplace. I'm sure there are some out there, but for the most part the therapists I work with simply provide a warm, safe room which is private and often nestled within a space shared with other health professionals. You don't need to lie down anywhere, you can simply sit in a way that's comfortable to you within the space that the therapist has created.

What will my first therapy session involve?

Your first session will typically be a chance to get to know one another, to touch on the presenting issue that has brought you into therapy and to see how you and your therapist fit. Some things to consider might be: Do you feel at ease with your therapist? If so, why? For example do they remind you of someone from your past who was kind and nurturing? Perhaps you feel uncomfortable in their presence. Again, it's important to consider why this is. Does their manner remind you of someone or something from your past that was a less than positive experience for you? Often people won't return after their first session if they didn't click with the therapist, but as a first timer an important lesson to learn will be that the opportunity for discovery and growth often sits within discomfort. The takeaway here? Give your therapist the gift of time with you, and commit to more than one session before writing the experience off as unhelpful.

How long do I need to stay in therapy?

A deterrent for people starting (and staying) in therapy is the time and cost associated with it, when what they really want is a quick fix. I recall years back a relative relaying the story of how they met a therapist once, and claimed that it didn't help so they wouldn't be going back. Here's the thing: A therapist is not like your car mechanic; they aren't here to fix you up quickly, get you back on the road and send a bill. A therapist's role is to walk alongside you and guide you in changing that flat tyre or dirty spark plug on your own. They'll help you understand how those parts came to be out of operation in the first place, what you need to do to keep things running well, or how to navigate similar issues when they inevitably arise in the future. The good news? Once you learn these skills, you'll be able to move forward smoothly. The bad news is you're not going to cover all of that in one session. Aim to commit to therapy and view it as an investment in better coping skills, better resilience and better relationships.

What will I have to talk about in therapy?

The answer? Whatever you want to talk about. You can start slow or you can jump right in; you are in control of your sessions. Your therapist may guide you with questions, prompts or observations, but you are responsible for setting your own boundaries within the realm of the therapeutic relationship. These boundaries may also change in time, as you become more comfortable with the experience of therapy and with your therapist's presence. If vulnerability is a challenge for you, you may find yourself opening up further in time as the alliance with your therapist grows.

Got a question about counselling or psychotherapy on the northern beaches or online? Book a free 15 minute phone call with me to see if working together could help.